Is vulnerability a strength or a weakness?

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  countrytouch82

  2 years ago

  I was actually thinking about asking this question also, thank you for it. Many say especially for a man, they would like them to at least have the capacity to be emotionally vulnerable. But then I read many times that they want someone who can handle all their issues themselves, because they don't want to act as a therapist. That the other person's life is fully in order, being fully confident, strong etc. At worst, the "harden the f*** up" mentality if things go wrong. I actually list "emotionally vulnerable" on some dating profiles, which might lead to various interpretations, and may either help, or hinder if it's seen as a dealbreaker. But I socialise in mixed crowds including trans & gender types, neuro diverse etc, no one is a model of absolute emotional strength. I did ask a question here a while back about opinions on men who cry. Most responses were "it's okay, but not too often, or at least not more than I do".

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  Good_Bad

  2 years ago

  Be vulnerable in a sense means be honest. Don’t lie or deceive. Know your values and stick to them. Have a good heart. Vulnerability sometimes means sharing our problems with others. But if you have problems in your life, find out what they are, and then find and work towards the solution. We don’t need to pour out our sad stories on others, because in my experience it rarely helps anyone and just brings us down. We can share our struggles with others but with a mindset that it might help them (instead of a negative mindset of wanting them to feel sorry for us). We should continue to stick to our values like having a good heart and work towards solving our problems. My 2c

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  nightingale8

  2 years ago

  Vulnerability is powerful in your private life and can be deep and connecting to your essential unfiltered self as well as to others close to you. I think this is why it’s so amazing in the bedroom. I think that’s very different to vulnerability in your public life, which is purposeful and often goal oriented. That doesn’t make vulnerability in public insincere, it just means you have to factor in whether your behaviour is socially appropriate. I don’t buy this rhetoric that you’re an arsehole if you don’t want a man who cries all the time or expresses he struggles on a first date. You’re still essentially strangers and overfamiliarity or closeness too soon is unusual to say the least. Trust, devotion and caring take time. And anyway, vulnerability isn’t all about how much you cry and be sad you didn’t get what you want. It’s about your ability to admit and show fault, to be embarrassed, silly, imperfect, a good listener.m, to apologise and to forgive. ♥️

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  CliveWing

  2 years ago

  Vulnerability is a continuum. Dont be extreme one way or the other. I dont believe that a average woman wants a man who is so invulnerable as a stony solid brick wall surrounded by a moat, but neither do I think an average woman wants a man who is open to being defeated and burst into tears at every moment there is a difficulty. IMHO, its all about balance. Be quite strong, but not unemotionally uncaring.

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