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boxestotick

boxestotick

M54 F52

Reality Check!

November 08 2019

Like most people on RHP, we are pretty broad minded. We've indulged in many fantasies and done things we'd never thought of doing. It's all been so much fun. We've had threesomes, foursomes, watched each other with another, etc etc.... We remain in our long term (27yr) committed relationship. It's been a hell of a ride. This community is very accepting of others want's, needs and desires and we guess that's what has brought us all here. While acceptance of this lifestyle and new forms of relationships is growing, we're still in a very very small minority. I was reading an article the other day on a major internet news site. The article was about a couple in a committed relationship, allowing the other to stray (maybe once a year) to keep their relationship interesting. It questioned the whole notion of monogamy and if it's still relevant. Nothing too shocking there (for this community) - UNTIL i read the comments section. Ouch!!! The overwhelming majority (maybe 95%) replied with "if my partner EVER blah blah blah.... that would be the end of us" or "how dare they even suggest that" or "they have more than they need at home". Ha ha ha these comments made me laugh and squirm at the same time. While the insecurity of their replies was obvious, I'd love to ask the other partner what they thought?? I would hazard a guess that many of those partners had cheated or visited a sex worker. Regardless, we found it a massive reality check to be reminded that not all think the same way as us RHP'ers. Happy shagging everyone! Discuss!

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Comments

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    6 years ago

    The conversation & banter I have with my friends from this lifestyle are raw, honest and ... well... real. Conversations with other friends who don't know of my involvement in this lifestyle can be so mundane in comparison. It can occasionally be difficult to find the right balance and not horrify my vanilla friends.

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  • Cucknshells

    Cucknshells

    6 years ago

    It’s like that. However I don’t think you can really understand what it’s like unless you have experienced it. I know I didn’t. I don’t like keeping secrets from my vanilla friends but I know they would be judgemental and not understand. Lucky that I do have some friends that are accepting and open minded that I can talk to. Shells.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    Um I was going to write a couple of paragraphs along the lines of power and insecurities. Nah, I’m already the bad guy.

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  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    6 years ago

    The swinging scene changes lives most definetly. It can save marriages and can wreck them. You can lose the love of your life and you can find them within it. You can meet up with your vanilla friends and talk about the weather or meetup with your RHP friends and talk about the gangbang you had last week. Surprise, the weather doesn't seem so interesting these days....

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  • SpicyKale

    SpicyKale

    6 years ago

    You've got to remember just how conservative most mainstream media is. Even if the article comes across as positive there's every chance it was aimed at exactly those "outraged" readers in their comments section! They're manipulative fuckers... I think a lot of us have those tongue biting moments at work or around family. I've listened to comments about polyamory being wrong, sexuality slurs about staff and jibes about a mutual friend being likely to invite a coworker to an orgy.... all in the last week! Do you try and educate people, or just lay low? I did get stuck in over the homophobic comment! I wonder how many of the comments were by people that would think it was ok to have an affair, but a couple being ethically non monogamous.... never! I still live in hope that younger generations are changing for the better 🤷‍♂️

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  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    6 years ago

    Even on RHP there are some who do not think like others or are opened minded, have the education and social skills, as they make out to be. Take the rejected abusive emails some people recieve, profile states otherwise for example. Just because they are on here, facebook or anywhere else, does not make it ok. I just ignore media etc comments and worry and focus on me. Fuck em! It only becomes an issue if one makes it an issue. I am very blessed in my life, as those I have met on here are those I would choose to have in my every day life, even around my mum/family. I'm lucky as No conversations are ever off limits. Not all conversations consist of sex, swinging, gang bangs, cocks, vaginas etc. How repeative and f*cking boring! Ms Foxy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    Unfortunately, not all RHP-ers are as open minded as they should be. There are still the players that can only judge a solo playing married person as a cheat and a liar, without knowing that person or their personal circumstances and relationship.

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  • SpicyKale

    SpicyKale

    6 years ago

    Libertine, I would have thought it was quite straightforward. If both parties of a relationship were enthusiastically onboard it's ethical non monogamy, otherwise it's cheating. We've got friends that play separately and it's absolutely not a problem, they just communicate really well. Unfortunately the behaviour of a lot of guys that came before you have made it really hard for the rest!

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  • couplecourious

    couplecourious

    6 years ago

    Thumbs up to all the happy shaggers and shagging.

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  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    6 years ago

    People can only form opinions on the information they receive from you. So perhaps it is the information you are providing - or more likely, not providing - which is the root of the problem.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    Gotta remember that media sites play to their audience. Most of their demographic is a certain 'type' of person, which they have researched to the 'Nth' degree. The people who read and comment on these sites are therefore representative of that demographic. You also have VERY organised pressure-groups who post on social media to shut stories down or twist the story. Your example is only one of these - look at how the Chinese mainlanders jump on social media to shut-down comment on pro-Hong Kong sentiment, or Christian lobbys organise their members to comment on abortion etc... Always pays to look at the big picture - there are probably a HEAP of people out there who agree with you OP, but in reality it's only the small minority who are actually commenting on the article.

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  • funtimescouple1

    funtimescouple1

    6 years ago

    Who says we all have to be monogamous? The Catholic church and what have they been in the news for in recent times? Most people that enforce a 'no cheating' policy aren't Catholics anyway. It's ridiculous that people end a long term relationship and ruin their family over natural desires. Sex is just one part of a relationship. It's the commitment that counts. Banning your partner from having any personal contact with anyone of the opposite is not trust. The lifestyle isn't for everyone but if you have real trust and good communication......enjoy!

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  • IMTHAMAN72

    IMTHAMAN72

    6 years ago

    I say have all the naughty fun you want and everyone is happy right 😎👍🏾

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    Not everybody though wants sex to be so transactional though.... Mr Dragon.

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  • Dirtyandfriendly

    Dirtyandfriendly

    6 years ago

    I've had many a conversation about my lifestyle sexually and it's actually been met with negativity more than positive. I've never been chastised or berated, but more "I could never do that" or "I'd never let my partner......". It's not shock to me that I'm a part of a minority in a very very vanilla world, not that it's a bad thing, just not my cup of tea with normal. I've shared my views on what I'd want in my next relationship if I was ever to be in one. I'd share my views on my partner sleeping with other men, sharing and having fun together. It's probably my biggest thing. Even sharing it with single women has been met negatively, a lot like their man jealous. I only share a very small part of what I enjoy, I can easily gauge whether they would be interested, but a lot of the time no. I'm not surprised people react the way they do, many are just not kinky like some of us and that's okay, just don't judge us for it

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  • Deep_Love

    Deep_Love

    6 years ago

    I do sometimes forget how different the rest of the world is. In my workplace there is a big issue because a female colleague hugged a male colleague (at last years Xmas Party) and his female partner now refuses to be rostered with the hugging female and gets upset if her male partner is rostered with the hugger..... WTF? really? ~ Mrs Deep_love

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  • boxestotick

    boxestotick

    6 years ago

    Quoting 'Deep_Love'So I'm guessing a blow job is out of the question? ha ha I do sometimes forget how different the rest of the world is. In my workplace there is a big issue because a female colleague hugged a male colleague (at last years Xmas Party) and his female partner now refuses to be rostered with the hugging female and gets upset if her male partner is rostered with the hugger..... WTF? really? ~ Mrs Deep_love

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  • Mrs_Deep_Love

    Mrs_Deep_Love

    6 years ago

    Quoting 'boxestotick' Quoting 'Deep_Love'So I'm guessing a blow job is out of the question? ha ha ~ Mrs Deep_love

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    The average person lies to themselves relentlessly and lives in a delusional dream land.

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  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    6 years ago

    Is that dreamland a deep shape of purple?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' Is that dreamland a deep shape of purple? The deepest

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    When getting married became a thing (catholic’s 12th century) life expectancy wasn’t much above 30 for a male, 45-50 by the 13 th C so it wasn’t the “life sentence” it is now.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    I (mr) have a couple of female colleagues I like to refer to as friends. One of them's husband is in a group I go camping and fishing with and she will often tag along with him. (Mrs p does not go camping) Although said friends are quite attractive and I get on really well with, nothing is ever going to happen with said friends, that would create all sorts of awkward. Pre our RHP days whenever I told Mrs p stories about work or camping I would deliberately leave stuff out about my female friends. I didn't want her to get jealous about anything. Since we came to RHP, it's opened up a whole new level of honesty between the 2 of us that's hard to explain. It's brought us so much closer together. I no longer feel the need to hide anything from Mrs p, As long as I am showing her that she is as always will be no1. It's silly that I felt like this but that's just the way it was

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  • JohnAnn2227

    JohnAnn2227

    6 years ago

    We have noticed that there are more positive surveys, articles and media comments regarding swinging but as a few people have already said we think there is an ulterior motive. They are usually popular on slow news weeks.I have heard people discuss such articles at work or at BBQs and the negative comments are hard to take. At a BBQ one wife was saying how "Only freaks would be involved" and "obviously the wife isn't doing it right if the husband has to have sex with other women". I must admit that I had had a few proseccos but I replied that "Maybe they are people who just want a good fuck more than 3 times a year". "If that is being a freak then deal me in!" This got a few nervous laughs until one of my friends (who was hosting the BBQ and knows we are swingers) announced to everyone, "Actually we have a surprise for you all. This is actually a swingers party and the orgy begins in the loungeroom in 5 minutes!" This got a cheer from a number of people and the moment blew over. We have vanilla friends who know that we swing and are ok with it and have actually babysat for us while we go to a party . We have lost a couple of friends who cannot accept that we swing and that's sad but were they really friends?Unfortunately we cannot see a time where swinging will be publicly accepted in the mainstream. People fear what they cannot understand.We have only ever told friends who have seen either of us out with someone else and thought there was cheating going on. We have had to tell them we swing and that everything is ok. We have been caught out in the city dressed a lot differently by friends who have guessed what we were up to and we will not lie if asked directly.

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